I'm a liar

A big 'ol bold faced liar. Well. Not intentionally, but frankly, if you read my last post and then noticed there haven't been any additional posts for over 2 weeks, then you'd assume I'm a liar.

I didn't post anything about our trip south. I apologize.
At first it was mostly because internet service was slow and even my cell service was spotty so tweets became unheard of, I practically fell off the cyperspace radar system. But frankly, I didn't mind it one bit. It took me back to the days when people left you a message on your home machine if you didn't answer, and they patiently waited for you to return their call. Or your friends found out about your trip because you all sat around the table at Taco Bell and showed them the glossy prints from Thrifty's photo center. These were simpler days, days when you enjoyed being with the people that are present in the room with you.

Since returning to the land of connectivity, I've practically slowed my net-interactions to a turtle's pace. No one needs to know everything, and they especially don't need to know it now.
Better yet, I've taken time to talk to the people that live in my town and invest in people 'on the web' with a more personal approach...less writing to the masses and more writing to one person. Thus, this blog has stayed pretty silent. But, it all still has a place in my life - as is obvious by this post - and I won't be deleting my twitter or FB accounts anytime soon. But I'm learning not to make any grandiose promises about my behavior online.

I thought about it so I wrote it

A friend just called, I won't say who cause it's their news not mine to share, but she called to tell me they just found out they're pregnant. She called because she's my friend, but also, she called because she knows we've been trying to get pregnant and she wanted me to hear it from her first.

For them it was a surprise. They already have children and weren't planning anymore anytime soon. I am thrilled for them, obviously, and I'm a little surprised that I'm not sad for me. Of course I would love to be pregnant with a friend, and we all know I have had many friends over the past year become pregnant and my wish has always been to share this experience with a friend, so this would have been great. But I'm happy and that's it. That's where the feelings stop. There isn't anything else there. No regret, no sadness, no frustration, no worry, no jealousy, no self pity. Just happy for them and content with me. I like this place I'm in.

(minus 10 and counting)

It's getting real people

It's been one of those weeks. The kind that is full of crazy experiences and emotional moments. In the end, it's good. But that doesn't mean it's easy.

We had an old friend visit all week and in the end it was of course a good thing, but a bit of an emoting drain. More than one dear friend graduated last night from Gutenberg and the emotion last night ran deep with pride and admiration. I finished two major projects this week in the edit room and I couldn't be more exhausted and happy it's Saturday. Like I said, it's been quite the week of emotion.

Thanks to my faithful friends, all those reading and all those that never will. I am a blessed woman, I admit it everyday.

God has been so faithful - and I hate to sound pithy and bland, but you don't know how deep this emotion runs in me and how it means so much more than stark words on a page. I can't express the feelings I have; knowing I don't deserve such grace and faithfulness from One I am never quite faithful enough to, but I am in this moment at peace with that and in a state of acceptance for the grace I've been given.

We're all just surviving, my hope is to learn to do it better and with more grace and love.

Not a confession

I think I follow blogs for two reasons. The first is for a kind of entertainment. I love to read and blogs are an instant way to read something new, I only wish sometimes that they were printed in big books with soft covers so I could sit outside and lay in the lawn and read them by turning the page. The other reason I follow blogs is less for reading and more looking, as in photographs. I am inspired and amazed at the many gifted photographers whose blogs I follow. One thing missing from blogs is the rest of the artists, the painters, the musicians, the craftsman of all sorts. For these I love to pursue etsy, hang out in thrift stores, and second hand shops, but they're always closed on Sundays and that's the only time I have to go to them.

So most of the time I find myself creating something rather than admiring someone else's creation. But I have become lax at showing these things because I have become lax at taking the photographs. This is in no way a confession, or a promise to change my ways. It's just a fact I'm sharing.

I write a blog for many reasons, reasons I haven't tapped into for a while and I think that's alright. Life is less about talking about it and more about doing it, so I guess that's what I've been doing.

Take a moment to peruse the posts from today. I have a feeling I'll be writing a bunch and spreading them out over the week. I feel like I have much to say.

And because all posts are better with pictures, here's one of us from the Tom Waits Tribute night, just before Andy took the stage.

It's begining to look a lot like...

Spring. Sorry to throw you off if you were singing a little tune and said "Christmas" there instead of Spring, but, you know...Although it's freezing out, our first bulbs are sprouting, rain is piling up all around the yard in happy little puddles, the neighbors cat is pregnant, and it's just about Spring, so it seemed more appropriate even though the house across the street still has big twinkly snowflake lights hung above the garage door.

Things I'm doing with my time on a Sunday:
1. I spent a good 25 minutes going back and forth with KiKi, drying her off in between spurts of her cleaning herself, after she spent a good couple of hours out in the downpour this morning.
2. I made eggs in toast. Yes, eggs in toast. It's when you cut a rectangle out of the middle of a piece of bread (in our case Ezekiel), butter a pan, toss in the bread, then crack an egg in the hole and let it cook.
3. I watched 'My kid could paint that' a documentary about Marla Olmstead, the now 9 year old child painter.
4. Since I cleaned the kitchen yesterday, and I mean cleaned it, including the inside of the oven and the top of the grates with scouring and much elbow effort, I cleaned the stove top again this morning after cooking breakfast, just so I could bask it it's perfect cleanliness a little longer.
5. I'm reading a book that my mom sent me. It's not really my normal style of reading material, but it's cold outside and it's nice to have a good reason to sit on the couch with a warm blanket and KiKi on my lap that isn't like 'wasting time' doing nothing.
6. After I hit Publish Post I'm getting up and finishing the cleaning of the house, which includes the bathroom and the mess of an area we call the 'dining table' most of the time, but that right now would be more appropriately titled the 'junk table'.

We've watched a few movies I'd like to comment about (Revolver included Mrs. Culver), and I still have to download all the photos from my camera (including Little Mister and his baby brother) and mention a few of the events that have happened over the past couple of months (Science shows, travels with work etc). But for now, deal with the list above and check your google reader or whatever soon to catch up with what's been going on in my head.

I don't have a clever title for this thing

We're sort of attempting to catch up with everyone this week, and it seems to sort of be working out. But then again, it seems not to be working out also (the Frenches...we'll get up there I swear). For all of the early mornings (it makes the day longer) and slowish work week help, we still can't get enough time together in the same room to even figure out when we can do stuff together, much less with other people.

And February is looking to be busy already (for starters I'm going to Vegas, VEGAS!).

But, I'm not complaining, okay I'm complaining a little. But listen. The blog has been quiet for a few reasons. Reasons I'm not ready to talk about yet, but you'll know soon enough, and some reasons I will talk about.

I'm tired for one. To tired by the time the day is just about over to even think about writing something intelligent, much less interesting. But that's just complainy and that's not what I want this post to be about. So we're on to something else.

Another reason I haven't posted is cause I've been irked. Bothered. Frustrated.
Maybe I'm getting old?

There are things I think I should post about, and then I realize I'd just be complaining and I do not want this blog to be about complainy things.

But I thought I'd make a list and you all could think what you will about my reasoning and frustration and I could just be done with it and then feel freedom move on to happier things. Cause people, I'm not an angry person, I'm a happy person. Here goes.

Things that Irk Me (in no particular order of importance, I just like lists with numbers)

1. Prop 8, specifically the reason why Christians looove prop 8
2. Ugly Betty, it used to be a fun little show to watch on a Saturday and now it's just all whiney
3. My husband snoring and waking me up at night
4. the Kitty scratching on the door and waking me up at night
5. I'm tired
6. The fact that people are saying Jessica Simpson looks fat, I mean that she has a "curvier, fuller figure" WTF
7. I'm cold all the time
8. I haven't gotten to just hang out with my husband in almost a month
9. I have to work all the time
10. the last thing is something I don't want to talk about

Oh so it's like that huh?

It's a little bit like playing hookie, except I planned it, and my "boss" knows about it. Today I had a day off. It was supposed to simply be a: your birthday was on a lame day for everyone, so we're pretending it's today - thing. But I have to say...it's nice to clean the house. I pretend like someone else did it so that I can feel all good and organized and the small act of lying to myself makes it feel even more amazing. We're getting ready for a nice afternoon and evening together.

I'm going to the knit shop and I'm so happy about it. It's going to be a good year. I swear.
And now, as any good day should, I am now going to get in some laughs from the ladies over at this blog*.
*warning, not for the faint of heart, and by that I mean people that don't like to make fun of celebrities. Your Welcome

....

It was a nice day. Not fantastic, not, not fantastic. It was good. Better than some, but not worse than most. A few grand people made it better than it would have been and for that I'm so thankful. Andy did little things that makes me know how much he loves me. And now for my favorite thing. A list.

1. He cleaned the computer, wiped it down and made it white and clean again.
2. He made breakfast and coffee.
3. He cleaned the floors. I hate cleaning the floors. He picked up my things thrown about and vacuumed the floors.

It's the little things that make me know.

4. He came down to my work for the last hour I was there and sat at the desk across the way from me just to be there and work, cause I had been all alone in the office all day.
5. He unlocks my door and opens it for me before the rain soaks through my clothes.
6. He says, "come out here," so he can talk to me about my day while he makes a quick dinner for himself before heading to work.
7. He silently rolls down the window after he drops me off for dinner and gives me a kiss through it.
8. He calls when he's on his way home.

The day is looking up...even though it's just about over.

It has nothing to do with a new year but...

I click the words "new post" and imagine the tapping on the keyboard I'll make. And then it appears. The blank page before me, it begins to become a group of words squished together to form sentences that then become paragraphs. It hits me. There is so much to say, but nothing that I'm ready to say out loud. And so. I'll hit you with a few facts from the last couple of months in the format I am most fond of right now, a list.

1. Parents from both of our childhoods (mom, and mom and dad) came to visit for Thanksgiving.

2. I failed to complete NANOWRIMO, or at least I stopped after 2 weeks because I figured out that although the acronym seems to work for using the month of November as it's time frame, life actually frowns on the idea with the holiday and visitors taking precidence.

3. I blogged like twice at the Push This blog so that was kind of the same amount that I blogged here, but then I failed to blog a promised follow up blog, so that's on the list for monday.

4. Andy's computer crashed and won't start up anymore. So, we've been sharing my laptop, which I guess now is technically "our" laptop and I sorta blame that for the lack of blogging, and general lack of internet use in the last couple of months. I would really like to remedy this soon.

5. My birthday is this coming Thursday. It'll be my last drink of the devil's fruit for a while. I'm cleaning out my body and trying to get rid of the extra fat around my *commence general waving of the hands in a circular motion* this section.

Which leads me to 6. I ran today.
It was freezing. It made my lungs hurt when I breathed. But, the good thing about it being so damn cold was that I ran for longer than I'd scheduled to cause I didn't want to stop and get cold again. Which eventually I did, stop...and get cold again.

7. It snowed at our little house.

8. I sent out Christmas cards. If you didn't get one, it's either cause I don't have your address, or I ran out. Sorry.

9. I spent Christmas Eve, semi without Andy. He had to work. Ya. Lame.

10. We spent Christmas day with other orphaned friends in Eugene and enjoyed our time with them immensly.

11. I thought the kitty was lost forever, but it turned out she was just hiding in a bucket under the bed trying to stay warm.

12. I'm really into Ghost in the Shell right now

13. Andy bought me the most insane Christmas gift - he surprised me with a Chi

14. We bought him rain gear so he can ride the motorcycle again now. Although I still need to get a helmet, so if you know of one, or find one that you'd like to tell me about, I'd be happy if you did.

15. I finally hung some stuff in the Living Room utilizing our sweet "picture molding" Which means I had to learn to tie sick, never loosening knots in fishing line that the frames hang from little hooks on the molding. It was great. I love the internet. I feel like if you know the right questions to ask, you can learn almost anything.

16. I read the entire Twilight series.

17. I'm trying to knit my first hat

18. I missed being with our family this Christmas for some strange reason.

19. on thursday I'll begin my last year in my twenties.

20. I love my little house.

This is not a New Year's resolution or anything, but I'm trying to be more social, hang out with people a lot this year and invest in people the way I want to but always don't, or can't find the time to. I hope this blog is filled with more posts of musings, lists, discoveries, and pictures of things and people I love. This is going to be a year of calm goodness. That's what I think anyways. What's your year going to be?

What? So what if it's been like a year

It has been almost a month since my last confession, err blog. There's been family visiting and snow falling, Christmas decorating, and work, working. And yet. There hasn't been blogging. One thing making that sort of difficult is that Andy's computer took a dive and won't revive. And by dive I mean figuratively, and by die I mean it won't start anymore. So, we share mine...ours. And it makes it tough to do more than just check email or whatever.

But here I am. Writing a blog. He's at work. So that helps. Work. Yes, at night. I know. It's this new thing we're trying out, it's all about having enough money to pay the mortgage, which also translates into not seeing each other due to the working all the time thing.

A dear friend is coming into town for a visit later this week. I'm thrilled about it. Hopefully she'll make an appearance on the blog.

I've done some baking. Made a few little gifts, and prepared our presents for the nieces and nephews. But alas, Christmas is less about gifts this year as it's about time spent with people we love. Andy has to work on Christmas Eve. Suuuper lame. And supposedly he's working New Year's Eve too...Also suuper lame..

We did some awesome Pushplay Christmasy things this week. The little photos are a bit of a taste of what's to come...and Santa.

I've really enjoyed life this last month. Here's my list in no particular order, well ok, the order in which I type them and that's all:

1. Family Visit
2. snow
3. walking with Andy in the snow
4. dinner at Soriah's
5. Christmas music galore on a cd from McKenzie

How about you? Wanna make a list?

To be or not to be...spontaneous

Is it a habit or spontaneous action that brings the most joy and contentment out of life? Whoa. Wait a minute, is that really what I think the purpose of life is? Finding joy and contentment? I don't think that's what I think, or is it? I mean, that's what I just wrote right? Okay, let's not get sidetracked. That's another question all together, but not the one I'm focused on discussing. And besides, I was just trying to write a good opening sentence for those of you (everyone really, except for Marianne and Sarah) that would have no idea what this post was about since you didn't ask for it.


I know that when, or if, if or when, (don't get all excited Marianne) I have a child, this idea may get tossled and turned upside down. Buuut. For now. I'll plunge deep into the idea of habit verses spontaneity and how I feel about it right now. Okay one thing first about the if or when and child thing. I think since we've been married now for 8 1/2 years, if anyone "joins" the family, it'll be tough for them to change us, I think they'll do more adapting to us than we will to them (all you moms are laughing and shaking your head side to side, aren't you? This is a whole other discussion people and I'll make my greater point about it in a different post, cause I'm not talking about my kid being able to fall asleep anywhere just so I can stay out late at a friend's house or something. I mean they'll wear big headphones to protect their ears at their dad's show. Stuff like that.)....annnywaaysss

I am organized, particular, precise, formulaic, predictable, opinionated, a creature of habit...Sometimes. And some of the time I'm scattered, rushed, disheveled, addicted to my calendar alarm for reminders, artistic, and frankly, spontaneous.

What is that?

Someone once said that creatives aren't organized, and organized people aren't creative. I'm both creative and organized, some of the time, and then none of the time.


Andy can tell you what I'll do in certain situations even before I could tell you what I'd do. Is this cause he knows me all to well, or is it because I'm super predictable?

What is it? It's annoying.

I never feel done. Complete. Accomplished. Okay, I shouldn't say never that's a stupid word, cause it can't be true. Ever. Well, maybe not ever... ok, sorry, I think I was up to early today and I'm a bit feisty.

The point is that, like the heading I wrote when I began this blog that's posted on the photo at the top, I am complicated.

You'd have to ask Andy if I'm annoying, or perhaps the guys I work with. They'd know better than me. I can only tell you how I feel about it.

Some of the time I'm frustrated with myself. I don't feel like I'm committed to things. Or rather, I get really excited about something and then I go full speed ahead and get 'er done, and then a few weeks later it's not even on my radar. I love it when it's there and I forget it when it's done.

No matter how many calendars I make to organize my life, I don't ever follow it. I'll forget to take the trash out on the same day every week without my calendar reminder alarm. I won't do laundry every monday night when Andy goes out for guys night, I just forget.

I'll buy the next book in the series right after I finish the first book and then won't read it for five months even though I read the first one in two days (Twilight, I know, right?)

I once at homemade stuffing for lunch and dinner every day for almost a month. Then I didn't even eat it the next year at Thanksgiving.

I think I define it as:
I am a creature of semi-habit more than constant habit.


And... I love to be spontaneous. I used to carry a contact case and solution with me wherever I went cause I hated to have to plan to even go home at night just because I had to "take my eyes out". I encouraged Science Heroes to play a show at a house party at one a.m. after they had already played a show earlier in the night just for the publicity and cause their gear was already loaded in the car. If people are hanging out somewhere and they want a place to go "after wards", I invite everyone over to our place for the after party.

I wonder. What do you do that defines whether or not you're spontaneous or a creature of habit?
What do you think about the thought that I am seemingly both?

*I hope you enjoyed the random links and photos in the post above, I didn't have photos specifically for this one, so I figured I'd fill it with a bit of something.

feelings.

I've been in a mood of something I can't put my finger on. If you ask my husband, he'll probably tell you it's due to my cycle in someway. But I think it's more than that. For some time now I've been sad about the state of the world, and most recently, the U.S.

It has a little bit to do with my job I think. I love my job, everyone knows that, and that's not the point, the point is more that after I work really hard on a project, for days, hours, months even, and I've neglected my relationships and my house, and myself. Well, I sort of wonder what it's all for. Why did I work so hard? Yes, I needed to pay the mortgage and all the other bills. But, is what I'm doing actually important to the health of the world, the state of society? No. Absolutely not.

I feel like I should make some public service announcements or something...you know like how celebrities make the Vote ads? At least they're sort of making a difference (?)



I think a bit of this stems back to my teaching days, when people would respond to my job with comments like:

You are doing such a selfless, wonderful thing (not really, they pay me)
That is one of the most under appreciated professions, good for you
Your mother must be so proud
What an honorable thing, to give of your time like that (it is true, I did give a lot of my free time to teaching...and this usually fell under the "they don't pay you for that" column)

But anyways. My job now receives comments like:

That's so cool
Your job is so great
You are so lucky
Oh I would love to do that
Your job is so exciting

And all those things are true, along with my job is stressful, and hectic, and time eating, and long hours, and crazy. And again, I love my job. But really? What am I actually doing?

It's funny that I'm going to say this, but one of our clients is Reach Group Consulting and Lisa Johnson, who wrote Mind Your X's & Y's which, granted is a marketing book, but touches on insight that is honestly relevant and true about Gen X and Gen Y.
Anyways, she talks about a Give Back spirit that resides in our generations. The idea that while we love our computers, music and technology, we also have a desire to give back, to volunteer, to make a difference in the world around us and at large.

I have to say, when I was a teacher I think this desire was satisfied through the impact I had on children and their families. If they struggled with reading, I worked extra with them and their parents to come up with a strategy that would work for them. If they were going through a hard family time, I would give them extra attention on the playground and provide them with a safe environment or be there for their parent to listen and encourage.

But I wasn't doing it for praise, or even really thinking about it, I just did it. But now. Well, I think it's been a while and I'm feeling a gap of sorts.
So. I'm working on it, it sounds weird to say it, but I guess I'm working on giving back, volunteering my time for a cause or something I care about. I can't donate money right now, so I'm donating talent.

I'm working on something right now that's in the very beginning stages, but I'm really excited about it.
Stay tuned.

oops. I totally bought a scooter.

Or is it a moped? Well, either way, that's right, it's true. Here's my new scooter-like bike.



The crazy thing. Well, alright there are a ton of crazy things about it, but the first is that it isn't really a scooter, and it isn't a moped. I can't actually figure out how to define it. That my friends is where you all come in. First some facts.


This yellow one to the right is a "true" moped. And as you can see, mine looks like a moped. Many people say the term Moped came from the combination of Motor and Pedal, but others say it's derived from "motor velociped", as Velocipede is an obsolete term for bicycle. But alas. Mine doesn't have pedals, and so die hard moped riders (Josiah) are going to scorn me if I show up to a moped rally.

This (red) is the Honda Spree, called a moped by most, but I don't see pedals...this of course confuses me even more. It's a classic sure, but no pedals and we're still calling it a moped? Come ON!



Traditional scooters have a footboard, think Vespa, but mine doesn't so therefore it isn't actually a scooter either.


As far as I can tell from Wikipedia it may be a "scooter motorcycle", do to the fact that it's a "step through" design, without a footboard, aaannd without pedals. Except that even on wikipedia under scooter motorcycles, they show vespa's with footboards! And anyways that's too long to say all the stinking time, so I'm looking for help in determining a new term to describe what I've got. Or heck! Just help me figure out what it is already. The internet is like zero help. Any ideas?

Now for the story ...We woke up late this morning and I checked my email to discover that a scooter we had thought sold yesterday (my hopes were dashed) was still available...it ended up we thought two guys we had been talking to were one in the same (one we spoke to on the phone, the other was through email) and they were both selling blue scooters...except that one had sold his and the other just got back to me that he hadn't yet...thanks Mike!

We spent all morning driving to and fro across town (there was a football game so we had to go around downtown in a huge circle as to not get stuck on the bridge sitting in traffic), borrowed a friend's jeep to transport it, and finally arrived home around 1 something the proud owners of a...mopter, no, a er...scooped...or perhaps it's a scmoopter??? I don't know?!?

I'm happy either way.



Tomorrow, the Jo-science will help me reconnect the blinker wires, I'll get new mirrors and a helmet and then Monday I'll register it and get the tags up to date...then I'll be cruisin around town, to and fro from home to work and back again with the wind in my hair and freedom under my wings.

Thanks Bo. You're the greatest ever.

rant. (not the book, although it seems about time for another book review on this blog.)

my phone dies. when i open it. when i close it. when i push a button. when it rings. while i'm dialing. when i'm talking.

i'm ready for a new phone.
i want this one.

I know what you're thinking. Extravagant. Overpriced. All you need is something that calls another person. You don't need that. Well. In fact. You would be wrong. I do need it. You see, for two beautiful weeks...I had that phone, well. Not exactly that phone, the last version, at a higher price, and slower speed (or so they say) but it was the higher price that made me take. it. back.
And when I had it, well, I loved it. I used every feature all the freaking time and it made life out of the office when we were on location so much easier. People could actually get a hold of me, during work hours. It was heavenly.

And Yes. I took it back...and now...over 3 months later...it is so close, it is within reach...I can almost buy it...and be fully reimbursed by a lovely thing we like to call a telecommunications grant.

my job is sick. (in a good way, if that wasn't clear by the earlier link to this, oh and the fact that I don't have to pay for it.) Sick. (still in a good way)

a moment

I've been known to be honest, completely honest, venerable even in the words on my blog, and I've also been accused of being overly romantic, sentimental, indulgent only in the good and perfect things. This is something I'd like to respond to.

I will never use this as a forum to discuss a fight I've had. A lesson learned after the fact, yes. But never during the hurt, or frustration will I ever come to the blog to find some sort of relief in complaining about my woes. It's not about "airing dirty laundry", I'm all for learning and growing and sharing. I'm just not about to bad mouth my husband, or my friends to the blogworld. I don't think it's right.

So. I will write about the goodness in life. (I've also been accused of being to negative, so being positive and glass half full is a stretch for me and something I think will end up making me a better human all around.)

I will share my joy. My elation. My adventures. And I will sometimes, now share what pitfalls we've had, and how we came out them and the pain we've had, because I'm not afraid of real life, I never have been, I just hadn't yet discovered the way to talk about it while still honoring my relationships.

A friend of mine has a blog entitled, "Becoming" and I think that's the stage I'm realizing I'm in and I think it's high time I share it....cause I know you're all dying to know. *wink, wink*

when the whistle blows.

Day 1 Thursday. Train Station. Oregon. 4:15 pm.

The train's late.
What does that mean, late? Like ten minutes? An hour?
We don't know. We'll update you as soon as we hear anything.
Ok. - she turns to her husband - I guess we get to go across the street and get a drink.

Freakin good thing I left work early.

This would become a pattern for our entire trip down to california.
The train's late. What does that mean? We don't know. I guess, ok?!?

Skip ahead to: Day 2 Friday. Train Station. California. 8:45 pm.

We're 7 hours late. SEVEN. We were "en-route" for 25 hours. Wait. Let me say it again. TWENTY-FIVE HOURS.
And the trip was nothing but one rude amtrak employee after another. No one provided information. Or help. Or anything frankly.

We missed the one opportunity we had to hang out with all the adults in our family without the kids around. They sat in a sophisticated sushi restaurant, drank expensive saki, laughed, and enjoyed adult conversation as we sat on the train, sometimes with no explanation, in the middle of nowhere, not moving, just sitting still, for 20 minutes.

Every stop we made at a station, they would come on the intercom and announce that we would only be stopping for 5 minutes...forty minutes later we'd pull out of the station at a speed never to exceed thirty miles per hour except for the rare occasion where we'd finally be faster than the cars on the side road next to us...which would last for too short of a time. Frustration. Anxiety. Anger. Not what we'd planned...but oh well. We arrived.

So. We're here. Safe. And on our way to the reservoir. On to the family photos from our bbq at Peter and Mary's house yesterday.

a weekend without work

We're going to California in a couple of weeks. Sooo...look for photos of that soon. Also, pretty much all of our friends are going to be out of town for a month in Germany, so if you're around and my friend come over so I don't feel like I'm alone all the freaking time. And then there's the little thing I do called, "my work." Ya. Just so you know. It's pretty much kicking ass right now and I don't have time for anything else, like sleep, or working out, or anything, except that I had last weekend off. Completely. From Friday night all through Sunday.
I know.
Amazing.
Right?

So what did we do? Partied like only Science Heroes can! Actually. Science was in Salem on Friday playing a show and that meant I was home alone. All night. And then into the next day. Ya. Um. Did I ever mention how my neighbors are terrifying? Well. At night, it's worse, I know right? Who would of thought?

So. Friday night, home alone. I worked on my art space in the garage. Sooo...that, on Saturday I could paint! It was a tremendous, long awaited, glorious experience. I'm not done yet with any of the pieces. But, when I am I'll post some fancy photos for ya'll.

Saturday night...Heroic Science at WOW Hall.

It. Was. Epic.



More to come on all this.
tired. sleepy. want to get up early and...dare she say it?...go on a RUN...

A brand new day.

goodbye. ello.

It seems like all of a sudden life went topsie turvie. I don't know if I've said it before but I kind of can't believe what my life is right now. I'm strangely, seemingly sitting in God's good grace in every way imaginable.
so goodbye old ideas and welcome new ones.

In the past, the way my life seemed to work was one tragic moment followed by some time of calm, which would inevitably lead to another moment of tragic. By tragic I mean a trial, a hardship, to some it would be thought of as a moment of sharpening, evolving, becoming...but it seemed to always be by way of pain, suffering, tears.

(For those that don't know my story, I'd like to say that this isn't a pity party of a girl that didn't get the diamonds she wanted for her sweet sixteen...it would be shameful to use the word choice I have "pain, suffering, tears" if this were the case, and that isn't me. It just isn't.)

I've lived my life, not cursing the One that brought it all upon me, rather I've overly embraced the pattern. This is not to say that I didn't fear the next tragedy...I have lived a lot of my life in that fear. But even more sad than the constant wondering of when the next bad thing would come, I was unable to dwell on the goodness, the times of happiness.

I don't know if I'm making sense so here's a little picture of the struggle I had. It looked like this...

I've just married the man of my dreams, when's he going to die, leave me, become someone I don't know?

We just bought a house, hooray, now when's it going to burn down, fall apart, get broken in to?

And on and on. If the moment was a good one, I would instantly worry about when the tragic would strike.

I've finally begun to learn that it's good to succeed. It is good to be happy, to be blessed. It is righteous to be grateful, thankful, appreciative.

And so. I am blessed. I am thankful. I am enjoying the blessings, but there's still this little part of me that won't be taken for a fool, and so my saving's account will continue to grow, cause I'm no fool.

The beginning of the picture explosion. A last hoorah with my girls.

watch out!

**Happy Birthday to one of the most amazing women I know. You're one of my best friends and I would hate life without you.**

I know, I know, it's been like 600 years since I've posted. What can I say? You know when you're getting ready to write a post and you think, "Geez, what the heck do I have to write about? Life's been slow, boring, lame even, lately."

Ya. Well right now I don't have that problem. There's been so much going on that I have too much to write about. For now though, let me first apologize to all of the bloggers whose comment spaces have been without a word from me for the same 600 years. I really feel like I haven't hung out with my friends in forever, I have no idea what's been going on with you all!

First news. The work blog I mentioned a while back is totally in the works, so to speak. It will be available for you all very soon. I'm super jazzed about it. All 3 of us at Pushplay are contributing and there's going to be some fun behind the scenes stuff going on. Occasionally, if my work life and me life overlap, I may double a post, or link to one on the work site or something, but I am not, NOT giving up my personal blog. That, at least for me, would be tragic.

So. This isn't really a post about any updates or things. It's just a post to get me back on the saddle. Typing and thinking. These past few weeks have been so tremendously busy that I told Andy at one point, "man I'm glad breathing happens naturally, otherwise I think I've been to busy to think about it, I would have stopped and not known it until I was dead."

somethin strange in the neighborhood

WE CAN'T FREAKIN BELIEVE IT!

We're one month away from being out of debt.

I just sent out our payments for the month and realized that if all goes as planned, next month will be the month of our final credit card payment and this month was our first mortgage payment, crazy how things change.

More on life and such soon. Just thought I'd share, cause we're super excited.