Things that should bug my husband

I've said this in the past, but I get accused of not showing my 'true' marriage in my blogs. So here's the deal. We've been married 9 1/2 years. We rarely fight. We're rarely mad at each other for any extended period of time. And, if we do, it's none of anyone else's business.

I learned early on in marriage a hard lesson in sharing. Sharing my marital business that is.

This doesn't mean I won't share, or offer an account of things we've dealt with or overcome. I just won't share about it in the midst of the argument.

So when asked by girls getting married for advice, one I always share is: when you're in the midst of a fight, don't call everyone you know and bitch about your husband, and especially don't call someone in your family.

And here's why. Think of how many times you've complained about someone, anyone, to another person. Now think about that same situation and ask yourself how many times you went back to the person you complained to, after the issue was resolved and relayed the apology, or the compromise... It probably wasn't that many times was it?

Now this in no way means you shouldn't have a confidant, or seek out advice when you're going through a hard time in your marriage. It simply means to be aware of who you're talking to and how much you're sharing.

In light of this information you've now all gleaned, the point of my post was to admit to the:

Things I do that May, or Should, Bug my Husband

1. Leaving the bath mat on the floor after a shower and not hanging it up on the side of the bathtub in a timely manner.

2. Leaving a plate, bowl, or cup, on the table after the meal or beverage has been consumed - and the worst is if it's overnight.

3. Forgetting to get my clothes out of the bathroom after a shower, again in a timely manner.

4. Using the compost bucket frequently, but not dumping it outside in the pile often enough. (Cause I think this is a manly job.)

5. Getting the mail, which means unlocking the front door (something we rarely do for any other reason unless JW's come a knocking), and forgetting to lock it again.

6. When he goes to bed and I'm still on my computer AND the bedside light is on.

7. The fact that I want to listen to something, music or talking, every night to help me fall asleep (something we've compromised on and we do a couple of nights a week if needed)

8. Hair clogging any drain or showing up anywhere besides my head.

9. The amount of shoes (and clothes, especially jackets) I own.

10. Things I write about him or us on my blog.

Time for you to share your top 3.

No I'm not warm enough.

All of these beautiful women I know, and some that I don't, are posting a week's worth of Fall Fashion. They are adorable and so fun to check out.

Here's a few that I've been spying on.

Emery @ Mom's are for everyone
Mama Bird @ Three Birds.
Jilian Dee @ Jilian Dee & Dexter too!
Amanda @ Lullabies to Terrorize.
Marianne & Baby Penny @ Ancora Imparo
Indy & Summer @ a shot in the dark.
Mrs. Boo Radley @ just like camping.
sarah @ the banshee tree

Meanwhile. My clothes are stretching to fit over my growing tummy and many items in my wardrobe are becoming impractical. It was so cold last night that I went to the coat closet to get out a heavy jacket and realized that none of my winter coats are going to fit me this year. None. This whole growing belly thing is going to be a real challenge come the really cold days. Also, my leggings, that I wear all the time under everything when it's cold, finally ripped to the degree that they're no longer 'leggings'. Does anyone have ideas that will help keep my tummy warm through the winter?

And, here's a photo of the first ever booties I knit for Ant. He'll be totally warm after his exit from the belly. I emphatically apologize for the gross quality of these photos, but the iphone is the simplest, quickest way to take and post photos of random things like baby booties.



And, here's the next pair I'm working on, in a soft gray.


Annnd, I'm off to knit.

Saturday night gamble

We went to a texas hold 'em poker tournament last night. I should rephrase that and say we played in a texas hold 'em tournament last night. It was a birthday party, and we weren't going to play, we were just going to watch, but the birthday boy carried us, or floated us or something? Well, whatever it's called, he paid our $5 entrance fees.

We had a blast and didn't do too shabby either. Andy's pride was in the fact that he wasn't the first to go out at our table, he was the third. I wasn't counting, but I won a bunch of hands in a row. Nothing I was too proud of, a few hands of a couple pairs, a high card, and once a full house, that sort of thing. But I did get a few really good wins, both with a good hand and with a big pot and I even knocked out the birthday boy and won a prize for doing so. By the time I was tired and ready to go I still had a big stack of chips and had to ask what to do with them, cause I wasn't up for staying till I went out.

When real money isn't on the line, gambling is fun. Otherwise, I'm just not that into it, so last night was perfect and I kind of rocked it.

Take it as it comes

A friend posed a question in the comment section of my last post, "Does it depress you to travel back to before halfway again?"

When the doctor measured our Ant and he stated, "I don't think you're as far along as you think. You might be up to 5 weeks earlier."

Everything stopped.

The air was suddenly drained out of the room. The warm glow from the ultrasound's screen became a blaring headlight from an oncoming collision. The devastation I felt was paired with a crippling fear.

I couldn't process the words or make them seem rational. I didn't want to believe him, or rather, I began to believe he was a quack. But as he measured and spoke, his voice had a soothing confidence and I couldn't deny his skill and the wisdom in his words.

Once the doctor had taken all of Ant's measurements, the average placed him a day shy of 17 weeks. 17 weeks was still in my danger zone. 17 weeks could still end his life suddenly. It had happened before, it could happen again.

I quickly adjusted my thinking to a March birth and not a February birth. I had no trouble seeing his perfect heart, umbilical cord, and spine on the screen and allowing the safety of these visuals to ease my mind about his well-being. But I couldn't reconcile the number. 17 weeks.

17 weeks was not half way. 17 weeks was not a safe place. 17 weeks meant I could still loose him to an unknown assailant, just like I had lost his brother eight years ago.

When I thought I'd hit the half-way mark of 20 weeks, something in me changed. I finally allowed the little part of me that was still afraid to disappear. I knit a pair of baby booties. I bought a board book and a nursing cover. I measured the office and began making plans to turn it into the nursery. I let myself exhale...but now, again, I couldn't breath.

The joy of hearing Andy whisper in my ear, "we're having a boy" was clouded by the thoughts enveloping me from the doctor's words. It wasn't until we exited the office and began to verbally process with one another that I was able to exhale the tension building in my muscles.

As we drove, and sat in the restaurant and ate lunch, we talked. We reconciled the miscalculation and my mind was put at ease, except for the little piece of fear that held on tight. It was then I realized that I hadn't really experienced the moment when Andy whispered in my ear. I hadn't let the definitive news settle in. After all this time of wondering, hoping, trying not to hope in case the one I hoped for wasn't the one we had, imagining life with one or the other, that was all over. We are having a boy. A boy! In that moment, I realized I was grinning, a big 'ol goofy grin.

So now. In three weeks, when my tummy has swelled again, and our boy has grown to weigh his first full pound, and we officially hit the half way mark...I can rest in knowing that my fear left this baby weeks earlier than it would have if I'd known the truth early on and the environment we've created for him was healthier from the start of his life. And until then, I can continue to learn to exhale a little more each day.

It all happened one day

So as you know Friday was a big day in our family. We drove up to Portland to go to our first ultrasound. It was, obviously, a glorious day. We learned a ton about our little ant.

1. Ant is a BOY

2. The boy is growing strong and perfectly, but hasn't been doing so for as long as we first thought.
Explanation: The OB said Ant is measuring at 17 weeks, not 20 weeks as we thought.

3. Our due date is now March 22, 2010

4. This will mean our boy is definitely going to be born in the year of the Tiger.

5. The OB also checked out every possible angle of the Ant and told us the following medical discoveries:
a. All four chambers of the heart are functioning, strong, and whole
b. The Ant's upper lip is fully developed = no cleft palate
c. The umbilical cord has 2 separate, with strong flowing, tubes (exactly the number it should have.)
d. The spine is developed and fused = no spinebifida
e. There are no signs of down syndrome

We are thrilled.

The next question you're going to ask is "what about names?"

We don't have one, or any that we're solid on yet. Here's where you come in. Throw 'em at me. I need boy names, and no run of the mill names, but no Ijustmadethisup names either.
Hit me with your best shot.

p.s. ultrasound pictures to come, if I ever remember to scan them while I'm at the office.

Old Wive's Tales

A big thank you to everyone who submitted old wives tales. This was a fun post to write...and now for the results.

Marianne & Skylana: Silver spoon or a ring tied to the end of a piece of hair. A pendulum swing is a boy and a circular swing is a girl (for the record...both Penny (Marianne's newest) and Sabine (Summer's newest) were boys by the spoons tell)
Me: Boy


Mercedes: "They" say that if the mother's looks deteriorate during pregnancy then the baby is a girl. If the mother's looks become increasingly stunning during pregnancy then you are having a boy.
Summer: if you glow and get more beautiful...boy (girl's apparently steal your beauty)
Me: People say pregnancy suits me, so I think that means - Boy

Rachel, Melanie, & Aunt Meg: Carry low for a boy, high for a girl.
My Mom, Aunt Meg & Marianne: if you carry straight out it's a boy and more across it's a girl
Me: For both of these I think it's too early to tell. Marianne thinks I'm carrying high right now, but I feel like I'm carrying low, or that the baby is always really low in my tummy. I think it's a draw.

McKenzie: if the husband gains weight, it's a girl
Me: Andy's stayed the same, so? Boy

Cassie & Summer: Lots of nausea and morning sickness = Girl
Me: threw up once at the beginning, then nothing - Boy

Summer: speed of the heart rate, if it is faster consistently then girl, if it's slower, a boy. She said 135-140's = boy, 170's = Girl
Me: 150's - of course, Baby Ant's right in the middle

Marianne: If the hair on your body grows in more places or faster then it's a girl, the same, it's a boy
Me: I'm Italian, there's hair everywhere...but it's growing at the same speed - Boy


Marianne: If you crave sugar, a girl, if you crave healthy food, a boy
Me: Healthy food all the way, sugar is actually un-appealing most of the time - Boy

Mercedes: if you crave citrus and salt then it's a girl.
Or if cravings are for sweets it's a girl, sour it's a boy
Me: no cravings at all, but I would way rather eat sour things than sweet things, but I think that's just me, since I've always been that way. - Draw?

Midwife Appointment Wed. 10.7.09 - After she checked me, and Baby, I asked her what she thinks we're having. She thinks - Boy

Chinese Gender Chart: Boy

I also took this old wives tales test. Results: 53% Boy, 47% Girl...So...about 50/50 still

And the Boy or Girl test, here. Results: 52% Boy, 47% Girl...which doesn't equal 100%, but is pretty much still about a 50/50 chance. At least with this test, in the results they tell you why you scored the way you did for each question answered, and this one was actually pretty fun. Except they said the opposite results were true for the spoon/ring test, so I technically scored higher on the boy side.

Then, there's this site Baby Gender Prediction Test dot com, that promises " We'll be able to determine your baby sex on the basis of your responses with the probability up to 86%"
I entered our birth dates and whether or not our siblings are equal or out numbered with boys or girls. (How does this make sense?!?)
Results - Girl

Or you could go to this site and pay $19.95 for them to tell you the gender of your baby based on three simple dates: the mother's d.o.b, the father's d.o.b. and the expected due date of the baby. Yeah...$19.95, oh, but that's the sale price, the regular price is $26.60 so obviously it's a steal at $19.95.
Results: I'm not an idiot, I didn't pay to see my results.

Based on all these unscientific tests it looks like it's a boy. And based on the poll, sitting at 18 votes, you all decided we have an equal shot of having a boy or a girl. So thanks for nothing. We'll let you know someway, somehow on Friday what science says about it.

First the spoon, then the...

Let's play a baby game, since so far, polling has resulted in a 50/50 or close to score after each vote.

Tell me any 'ol wives tale, or superstition you've heard over the years that help determine if the baby is a boy or a girl and I'll tell you where I land with all of them, then we'll see if it still lands 50/50

To get the ball rolling, my friend Marianne conducted the silver spoon on a hair test in the first trimester

- the spoon results said: Boy

We've got less than a week to play, so comment with your ideas and I'll post where I land before the ultrasound results.