Friday, February 26, 2010

These are definetly not the blues

I've become accustomed to replying that I feel great and this pregnancy has been super easy with not much for me to complain about whenever asked. And it's the truth. I know so many women that have experienced such discomfort and their bodies betraying them during pregnancy that I feel like the little things that I've endured have been nothing to talk about, much less whoa is me about.

But I want to make a list, mostly for posterity not to bring out my complaint list for whiny purposes, of the discomforts or difficulties I have experienced (even though in my book they are reasonable and quite few and far between).

1. The first time I threw up and blamed being pregnant - thinking 'oh no, if it's starting this early there's no telling how bad it's going to be' - I wasn't even pregnant.

2. The second time I threw up, I was on an airplane. That in and of itself was a story for the books, but I couldn't really blame pregnancy since the timing of our flights had made eating lunch impossible, and I drank a bubbly ginger on an empty stomach then experienced some hefty turbulence. My poor body didn't have a chance!

3. The third time (there were only 3, well technically 2, but you get the idea) I haphazardly opened the kitchen garbage with my face way too close and some rotting meat bones hit me square in the nose. I ran to the bathroom. Yes, there was an open trash can a foot in front of my face, and I still ran to the bathroom, that's how bad the smell was, I couldn't even throw up on top of it.

4. During my second trimester, as my baby grew and my hips spread, my sacrum would scream in pain. Sometimes it would hurt if I was sitting, sometimes if I was walking, sometimes if I was standing for too hurt whenever it darn well wanted to. But...with a little time spent on the yoga mat with the best dvd for pregnant women everywhere, the pain would disappear and I would feel good as new. (See my point? Nothing really to complain about when there's a solution for a fix.)

5. There were some spurts here and there, most notably the week of February 10th, when I was starving every 2 hours and felt like I was either making something to eat or eating something 24 hours a day. The most recent baby growth spurt was accompanied with crazy headaches. If there wasn't something in my stomach at the 2 hour mark, I would freak out because of the pain. But again, as long as I anticipated and had a counter attack in mind (namely food at the ready) then I was fine.

6. Lack of brain power. How could I forget this life altering one? Oh right, I don't have a quick memory like I used to. The first trimester was tough for one reason. My brain felt like mush. The worst symptom was short term memory loss. It wasn't that I sat there thinking, "I'm forgetting
something, what is it, what is it, what is it?!?" No. It was worse than that. I had NO idea I had forgotten anything NO IDEA. It was terrible. I would have a conversation, commit to doing something, and then completely forget and never do it. Bless the people in my life for not throwing me off a cliff. I wasn't the me that was awesome...but I adapted. When I figured it out I just began carrying a big stack of paper with me. I would write everything down with little boxes for checking things off next to each to do, or different color pens or highlighters making me aware of important names or phone numbers and I would read over my papers over and over again all day to make sure nothing was lost.

The first day about 3 months ago that I remembered our business EIN number off the top of my head the second after someone asked for it was like a dream come true. I spouted it off (then looked on my phone to double check that it was correct) and was so relieved that my memory was coming back. It's not 100%. But I'm working on it.

7. Sleep. I've never been a very good sleeper, as you all must know, until I began taking nightly doses of melatonin. Then I read that because melatonin isn't a drug it isn't approved or even tested for use during pregnancy and side affects are unknown to the developing fetus. So, naturally, I stopped taking it. Surprisingly, I've slept quite well without it and have developed better habits for sleep all around. Sure I had a few stretches where I would wake up three times during the night to pee. But three times isn't that bad. Sure I fought sleeping on my side cause I loved to sleep on my tummy - and did for as long as possible. Sure, I've been woken up by a very active baby in the wee hours of the morning, or because I am starving and need a snack. But so what? I don't think it's all that bad, but maybe that's just the insomniac in me talking.

8. The car. Car rides are becoming more difficult. And driving is the worst, there's this darn steering wheel in the way of me and getting out of the door. But, it's not that bad. Just a little uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing when trying to exit the vehicle.

9. The hardest thing for me though has been the physical change in me - and the idea of your body betraying you. It's not that I'm super uncomfortable or that I can't do anything, I actually don't mind the very late state of pregnancy that I'm's actually pretty easy.

But I'm unable to accomplish the things I once could. I spent a day on set in December and by 8 hours in I couldn't get up from my chair because all my muscles were seizing from being over worked. I have to clean the house or organize things in little spurts, I can't just work for 3 hours straight and get it all done. If I exert myself for more than an hour, I'll most likely pay for it later with sore muscles. I am binding my tummy to help alleviate pressure on my uterine muscles and it's kind of obnoxious to have to do it. But I adapt, and then I can't complain, but I still can't wait for the day when the reason I can't get things done is cause I have a baby and not cause my body screams 'no'.

10. My relationships. I already miss that my friendships revolve more around my child then they do around the friendship, or shared interests. It's alright that Christmas brought gifts for me that were really gifts for the baby, I love that he is so loved.

But I talk so much about the baby, or baby things, or how I'm feeling because I'm pregnant, or if I'm prepared, or how I feel about the impending labor, that sometimes I just want to scream and talk about something else. I fear that all my conversations in the future will consist of stories about my child, or how my marriage is because of the addition, or about diapers or such things. I know there is a part of my past life that will never come back and I'm good with that, I think I just need to learn how to adapt to this in a way that doesn't mean I loose myself. I know I can. It will just take practice, and for me to have an ugly and dull kid so no one wants to talk about him...kidding.

Here's a get you ready preview of what we'll almost look like in less than a month (this is baby Atticus, born February 15th to our friends Tucker and Maricel).

Don't forget to place your bets on the last post...there could be a prize to win!


Happy Girl said...

just this:
:) <3
excellent post... of course.

Bella Art Girl said...

when I saw these pics I knew it would be a preview to what will come in the next few weeks...hang in there..the wait is worth it..

Axon L. Parker said...

Hey, just enjoy the ride. The baby-ness of your life is just a stage. You will "lose" yourself for a little while. You'll probably be head over heels in love for awhile. You'll probably talk of nothing else for awhile. And then you will talk of lots of things again. And you will read and think of other things again. And you will be the same Meg but better. And when, if, you have another, it will be totally different. So enjoy the flood. It's like getting married. It will never happen again:)

meg said...

Maricel - I love them! I can't believe I will be holding my boy so soon. Thank you for letting me get an idea of what it will be like.

Axon - thanks for the reminder. 'a better Meg' I like that.

Sarah said...

Meg, #10 interested me, because as someone who has not yet gone through it all I'm always a little worried that I'm being insensitive or not asking the right questions or something. I tend to only ask pregnant women or new moms about their baby because I assumed it was all they wanted to talk about, or mostly. I didn't realize that you sometimes get tired of talking about it, or at least just want some balance. So, from the inexperienced perspective that's good to know!

meg said...

Sarah - it's definitely not something I'm upset about, just something I notice and something that gives me pause...but there are some days that I do feel tired of talking about it (mostly cause I feel like all I talk about is what I'm going through with pregnancy or preparing for motherhood), and that reminds me that there is more to me than baby and I yearn a little bit for the way it used to be.

All that to say...don't forget about me just cause I'm going to have an awesome kid!

Melanie said...

With Erin getting married this summer, I have been thinking back to when we got married, and I remember feeling similarly to what you write of in #10 - that phenomenon of having a monumental event in your life that everyone else talks to you about and being SO TIRED of talking about it!

Personally, I am scared to death of memory loss, and also a little bit of the inability to get in and get stuff done.

meg said...

I was just thinking about this Mel, I love that people are concerned and asking, that's all lovely and I feel very loved. But it does get tiring and I LOVE when I get to hang out with people and talk about other stuff.

I'll remember that about the wedding stuff since there's another round of wedding season hitting soon!

sarahkrzy said...

Reading this reminded me of my pregnancy, and honestly, I had to laugh because I don't even remember it! It's wonderful that God helps us to focus on the stage that we are now, as it helps us be emotionally and mentally present. But I hated people only talking to me about the pregnancy/baby, and I remember feeling guilty because of it. The other ladies had a good point though: it really only happens once (namely being pregnant with your first!). The marriage comparison is very relevant. And it happens when the baby comes too: I swear Mabel is the only reason people talk to me. Oh well. Eventually this time will pass, and we'll look back with wistful feelings :D

All that to say: roll with it! Even as I write that I know you are, and that you're doing a great job of it. I'm super happy for you.

meg said...

Sarah K - It's funny, I know for me, Mabel is totally the reason I "think" I relate to you, but I can tell that we probably have a lot more in common, we just haven't gotten there yet in our's funny. But I totally find myself asking new moms what they think of one type of cloth diaper over another, or one bottle over another, and for them to share the knowledge they've learned...and you especially since you're a few months ahead of us, it's like having a glimpse into my possible future and the 'issues' that we could come across.

All that to say, I look forward to many more conversations with you, both to pick your brain about baby raising and to get to know you as you.