These are definetly not the blues

I've become accustomed to replying that I feel great and this pregnancy has been super easy with not much for me to complain about whenever asked. And it's the truth. I know so many women that have experienced such discomfort and their bodies betraying them during pregnancy that I feel like the little things that I've endured have been nothing to talk about, much less whoa is me about.

But I want to make a list, mostly for posterity not to bring out my complaint list for whiny purposes, of the discomforts or difficulties I have experienced (even though in my book they are reasonable and quite few and far between).

1. The first time I threw up and blamed being pregnant - thinking 'oh no, if it's starting this early there's no telling how bad it's going to be' - I wasn't even pregnant.

2. The second time I threw up, I was on an airplane. That in and of itself was a story for the books, but I couldn't really blame pregnancy since the timing of our flights had made eating lunch impossible, and I drank a bubbly ginger on an empty stomach then experienced some hefty turbulence. My poor body didn't have a chance!

3. The third time (there were only 3, well technically 2, but you get the idea) I haphazardly opened the kitchen garbage with my face way too close and some rotting meat bones hit me square in the nose. I ran to the bathroom. Yes, there was an open trash can a foot in front of my face, and I still ran to the bathroom, that's how bad the smell was, I couldn't even throw up on top of it.

4. During my second trimester, as my baby grew and my hips spread, my sacrum would scream in pain. Sometimes it would hurt if I was sitting, sometimes if I was walking, sometimes if I was standing for too long...it hurt whenever it darn well wanted to. But...with a little time spent on the yoga mat with the best dvd for pregnant women everywhere, the pain would disappear and I would feel good as new. (See my point? Nothing really to complain about when there's a solution for a fix.)

5. There were some spurts here and there, most notably the week of February 10th, when I was starving every 2 hours and felt like I was either making something to eat or eating something 24 hours a day. The most recent baby growth spurt was accompanied with crazy headaches. If there wasn't something in my stomach at the 2 hour mark, I would freak out because of the pain. But again, as long as I anticipated and had a counter attack in mind (namely food at the ready) then I was fine.

6. Lack of brain power. How could I forget this life altering one? Oh right, I don't have a quick memory like I used to. The first trimester was tough for one reason. My brain felt like mush. The worst symptom was short term memory loss. It wasn't that I sat there thinking, "I'm forgetting
something, what is it, what is it, what is it?!?" No. It was worse than that. I had NO idea I had forgotten anything NO IDEA. It was terrible. I would have a conversation, commit to doing something, and then completely forget and never do it. Bless the people in my life for not throwing me off a cliff. I wasn't the me that was awesome...but I adapted. When I figured it out I just began carrying a big stack of paper with me. I would write everything down with little boxes for checking things off next to each to do, or different color pens or highlighters making me aware of important names or phone numbers and I would read over my papers over and over again all day to make sure nothing was lost.

The first day about 3 months ago that I remembered our business EIN number off the top of my head the second after someone asked for it was like a dream come true. I spouted it off (then looked on my phone to double check that it was correct) and was so relieved that my memory was coming back. It's not 100%. But I'm working on it.

7. Sleep. I've never been a very good sleeper, as you all must know, until I began taking nightly doses of melatonin. Then I read that because melatonin isn't a drug it isn't approved or even tested for use during pregnancy and side affects are unknown to the developing fetus. So, naturally, I stopped taking it. Surprisingly, I've slept quite well without it and have developed better habits for sleep all around. Sure I had a few stretches where I would wake up three times during the night to pee. But three times isn't that bad. Sure I fought sleeping on my side cause I loved to sleep on my tummy - and did for as long as possible. Sure, I've been woken up by a very active baby in the wee hours of the morning, or because I am starving and need a snack. But so what? I don't think it's all that bad, but maybe that's just the insomniac in me talking.

8. The car. Car rides are becoming more difficult. And driving is the worst, there's this darn steering wheel in the way of me and getting out of the door. But, it's not that bad. Just a little uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassing when trying to exit the vehicle.


9. The hardest thing for me though has been the physical change in me - and the idea of your body betraying you. It's not that I'm super uncomfortable or that I can't do anything, I actually don't mind the very late state of pregnancy that I'm in...it's actually pretty easy.

But I'm unable to accomplish the things I once could. I spent a day on set in December and by 8 hours in I couldn't get up from my chair because all my muscles were seizing from being over worked. I have to clean the house or organize things in little spurts, I can't just work for 3 hours straight and get it all done. If I exert myself for more than an hour, I'll most likely pay for it later with sore muscles. I am binding my tummy to help alleviate pressure on my uterine muscles and it's kind of obnoxious to have to do it. But I adapt, and then I can't complain, but I still can't wait for the day when the reason I can't get things done is cause I have a baby and not cause my body screams 'no'.

10. My relationships. I already miss that my friendships revolve more around my child then they do around the friendship, or shared interests. It's alright that Christmas brought gifts for me that were really gifts for the baby, I love that he is so loved.

But I talk so much about the baby, or baby things, or how I'm feeling because I'm pregnant, or if I'm prepared, or how I feel about the impending labor, that sometimes I just want to scream and talk about something else. I fear that all my conversations in the future will consist of stories about my child, or how my marriage is because of the addition, or about diapers or such things. I know there is a part of my past life that will never come back and I'm good with that, I think I just need to learn how to adapt to this in a way that doesn't mean I loose myself. I know I can. It will just take practice, and for me to have an ugly and dull kid so no one wants to talk about him...kidding.

Here's a get you ready preview of what we'll almost look like in less than a month (this is baby Atticus, born February 15th to our friends Tucker and Maricel).




Don't forget to place your bets on the last post...there could be a prize to win!