i'm swimming in an icy pool of dark blue.

It's so beautiful, and it's so scary all at once.

We're a whole lot more knowledgeable and one day closer to being the proud owners of a 30 year mortgage. I can't put into words everything I'm feeling.

I went to bed and couldn't sleep, I woke up this morning at 6:30 and sat in the dark in the living room staring at the fire for half an hour. It was like Christmas Eve or Christmas morning...and yet it isn't Christmas yet, Christmas morning for us isn't for another month. But, try as I might to stay grounded in reason and doubt, I just keep letting my mind wander into the realm of new couches, painting colors, and the organizing of shelves and drawers.

Help, I must be stopped.

The problem is that there aren't any bad feelings in the pit of my stomach, and trust me I'm the definite pit in the stomach kind of girl, a true pessimist.

Last night we piled into our car with Toby and Jessa and drove over to the property, parked around the corner and walked the neighborhood. I shouldn't entertain the thoughts of living there, having barbecues, and friends hanging out in the living room, but I can't help it, it feels like it's mine.

Even though it feels like I'm having a baby soon or something and everything's about to change and that's a terrifying thought and I don't know if I can handle it and what were we thinking...and... I love it and I can't wait and it's going to be wonderful and amazing!

That helped, thanks for listening.

I will of course continue to update, it's cathartic and helps me stay grounded in reality, and soon I shall post photos of the entire property, inside and out, with stats to boot (for Andy F.)


p.s. Science plays tonight. Hoo-raw.

100th Post!

It's almost time to celebrate! Well, there's one definite thing to celebrate, it's my 100th post! Hooray.

And then there's the little thing that we're, trying not to get to excited about, celebrating which is that we have moved from "putting in an offer on the house" to "accepting the (very low) counter offer from the seller." I think that means we're in escrow (???)

I'll provide stats and photos when the officially, official closing happens...cause if I get to attached and something, as I'm told can and usually will, happens that means we don't get to move in I don't want to be crushed.

Goodnight. And thanks in advance for any and all congratulations...(secretly, we're super jazzed and can't wait for April! This is so amazing!)

can i call it home?

Perhaps it will be a reality. We make an official offer on Monday.

i'm not dead.

Forgive me. It has been more than a month since my last confession.

I did not mean to mislead the masses when I mentioned house buying. We have since not bought a house, but we have been majorly approved to buy one. And now my worrisome, pessimistic, and careful self is taking my sweet, sweet time in finding the place we want to live...and be in debt to.

A bit of a shout out...Congratulations to my dear friend Jeremy. Last night, or was it this morning? at 3:47 am, I got a text that he is engaged! I can't wait to hear the details.

And now a photo break.






Little Mister came to visit. So of course I have to give him a large showing. He's not only eating tags, he's eating solids...in a mashed up form. And, did I mention yet how insanely adorable he is? Well, shoot, you can see for yourself, but heck, isn't he adorable?














As usual we hung out with the entire family when Little Mister and his rents came to visit. And wouldn't you guess it? Little Mister laughs it up and steals everyones attention all weekend.







I confess, though it seems strange and a bit hard for most to believe. I love going to work. Even on Monday.


Pushplay's been busy, we have major events in the works and I'm excited about the coming year. It's not everyone that gets to not just go to work, but to love their work. I'm lucky. I know it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

There's been talk of perhaps a Pushplay blog. It would be a real look behind the scenes of a production company. What we do, who we work with and what we make. It sounds fun to me, but I still pinch myself when I think of what I get to be involved with everyday. Would anyone be interested in that?

I at least think mini blog entries, with photos and videos and an insider perspective from all of us at Pushplay would be cool, even if I didn't work there. What do you think?

When I find my camera battery charger again, I'll start to take and post more photos.

Now for my 25 Hail Marys.