The first was the heroics.
It went like this. Four friends met up in Portland. Two were already there, working. Two arrived earlier in the day and had plans to play a show later the same night. One of the friends from each of these groups were a husband and wife.
The four friends spent the afternoon laying on the grass by the waterfront, soaking in the glorious sun rays. This being one of the first weekends of the year when the sun shone and warmed there arms, it wasn't just the four friends by the water front...the city was strewn with people...one of those people decided to spend the afternoon at the same waterfront, just feet away from the four friends, and get real high.
After the guy got real high and yelled and jumped and paced around the grass for a good twenty minutes, he kicked off his shoes, leaving his socks in place, pulled off his shirt and walked toward the street. When the guy reached the curb his pace didn't wain. It didn't stutter. The guy walked into the middle of the street. The street, Naito Parkway was empty at the time. The light was red to oncoming traffic. But as the guy sat down, legs stretched toward the east, the light changed to green. As the drivers released their feet from their brakes, the guy laid down.
The four friends had been watching the guy for some time and when he headed toward the street they all watched with growing intensity, when he sat down, they timidly moved toward him. And when the guy laid down, one of them, the husband sprinted toward the curb and landed in the street, standing guard over the guy and directing traffic away from his head. Now what you can't know but what makes the story even more frightening is where the guy laid down. Besides being in the middle of the street, his legs were in a left turn lane, which put his torso and head in the left most lane of traffic. What caused the fright was that the concrete divider that separated the north traffic from the south traffic hindered the sight of the southbound drivers from seeing the guy's body until they were almost upon it. Thus the husband standing in the middle of the street was confusing to some drivers and caused them to glare or question his position. That is, until their view wasn't obstructed and they saw the half naked man with socks sprawled out spread eagle on the ground.
The wife and the friend who was in town for work both called the Police and in record time three cruisers were on the scene. The officers swiftly donned latex gloves, hoisted the guy to his feet, searched his pockets, collected his things strewn about the grass, and kindly removed him from the scene.
The Hero went on that night to sit and enjoy Stumptown coffee with the wife and friend in town to play a show, then perform an off the rack show at Dixie Tavern. The Hero, the Scientist and the wife saw old friends and happily raised a glass to the adventures of the day.
Monday, April 20, 2009
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