Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I thought about it so I wrote it

A friend just called, I won't say who cause it's their news not mine to share, but she called to tell me they just found out they're pregnant. She called because she's my friend, but also, she called because she knows we've been trying to get pregnant and she wanted me to hear it from her first.

For them it was a surprise. They already have children and weren't planning anymore anytime soon. I am thrilled for them, obviously, and I'm a little surprised that I'm not sad for me. Of course I would love to be pregnant with a friend, and we all know I have had many friends over the past year become pregnant and my wish has always been to share this experience with a friend, so this would have been great. But I'm happy and that's it. That's where the feelings stop. There isn't anything else there. No regret, no sadness, no frustration, no worry, no jealousy, no self pity. Just happy for them and content with me. I like this place I'm in.

(minus 10 and counting)

5 comments:

sufferingsummer said...

congratulations...that is a hard place to come to though it does sort of sneak up on you doesn't it?
funny that my post for today (written, though not posted yet) is along similar lines...
It is nice to be changed...to change and realize it when instead of negativity there is positivity without a second thought.
I read this and thought that though there is always a lot of confusion along the way we do in fact love a very Good God. I will freely admit that there are times that I wonder about that but then experiences like this happen and it is solidified for me once again.
So glad for you my friend.

Melanie said...

I too really want to be pregnant at the same time as a friend.

meg said...

summer - I should mention, I feel like this isn't a state of being, but a state of continuing. It isn't always easy, or constant, but it is there and the feelings chug along, hopefully with grace.

meg said...

Mel - maybe if we live in the same state we will both get our wish one day.

sufferingsummer said...

yeah I guess I assumed that...mostly cause I don't know of anyone anywhere who has "arrived" or anything. Just refreshing when you are actually able to see change happening rather than always feeling the same things over and over. that's what I heard from you...