Friday, November 21, 2008

To be or not to be...spontaneous

Is it a habit or spontaneous action that brings the most joy and contentment out of life? Whoa. Wait a minute, is that really what I think the purpose of life is? Finding joy and contentment? I don't think that's what I think, or is it? I mean, that's what I just wrote right? Okay, let's not get sidetracked. That's another question all together, but not the one I'm focused on discussing. And besides, I was just trying to write a good opening sentence for those of you (everyone really, except for Marianne and Sarah) that would have no idea what this post was about since you didn't ask for it.

I know that when, or if, if or when, (don't get all excited Marianne) I have a child, this idea may get tossled and turned upside down. Buuut. For now. I'll plunge deep into the idea of habit verses spontaneity and how I feel about it right now. Okay one thing first about the if or when and child thing. I think since we've been married now for 8 1/2 years, if anyone "joins" the family, it'll be tough for them to change us, I think they'll do more adapting to us than we will to them (all you moms are laughing and shaking your head side to side, aren't you? This is a whole other discussion people and I'll make my greater point about it in a different post, cause I'm not talking about my kid being able to fall asleep anywhere just so I can stay out late at a friend's house or something. I mean they'll wear big headphones to protect their ears at their dad's show. Stuff like that.)....annnywaaysss

I am organized, particular, precise, formulaic, predictable, opinionated, a creature of habit...Sometimes. And some of the time I'm scattered, rushed, disheveled, addicted to my calendar alarm for reminders, artistic, and frankly, spontaneous.

What is that?

Someone once said that creatives aren't organized, and organized people aren't creative. I'm both creative and organized, some of the time, and then none of the time.

Andy can tell you what I'll do in certain situations even before I could tell you what I'd do. Is this cause he knows me all to well, or is it because I'm super predictable?

What is it? It's annoying.

I never feel done. Complete. Accomplished. Okay, I shouldn't say never that's a stupid word, cause it can't be true. Ever. Well, maybe not ever... ok, sorry, I think I was up to early today and I'm a bit feisty.

The point is that, like the heading I wrote when I began this blog that's posted on the photo at the top, I am complicated.

You'd have to ask Andy if I'm annoying, or perhaps the guys I work with. They'd know better than me. I can only tell you how I feel about it.

Some of the time I'm frustrated with myself. I don't feel like I'm committed to things. Or rather, I get really excited about something and then I go full speed ahead and get 'er done, and then a few weeks later it's not even on my radar. I love it when it's there and I forget it when it's done.

No matter how many calendars I make to organize my life, I don't ever follow it. I'll forget to take the trash out on the same day every week without my calendar reminder alarm. I won't do laundry every monday night when Andy goes out for guys night, I just forget.

I'll buy the next book in the series right after I finish the first book and then won't read it for five months even though I read the first one in two days (Twilight, I know, right?)

I once at homemade stuffing for lunch and dinner every day for almost a month. Then I didn't even eat it the next year at Thanksgiving.

I think I define it as:
I am a creature of semi-habit more than constant habit.

And... I love to be spontaneous. I used to carry a contact case and solution with me wherever I went cause I hated to have to plan to even go home at night just because I had to "take my eyes out". I encouraged Science Heroes to play a show at a house party at one a.m. after they had already played a show earlier in the night just for the publicity and cause their gear was already loaded in the car. If people are hanging out somewhere and they want a place to go "after wards", I invite everyone over to our place for the after party.

I wonder. What do you do that defines whether or not you're spontaneous or a creature of habit?
What do you think about the thought that I am seemingly both?

*I hope you enjoyed the random links and photos in the post above, I didn't have photos specifically for this one, so I figured I'd fill it with a bit of something.


Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I'm confused.
But that's ok, because it sounds like you've got it all worked out.

And no matter whether or not kids change you guys will still be cool because then we won't be the only parents we hang out with. Or something like that.

meg said...

haha, that's awesome. Yeah. I think when it all boils down, I'm both...I think a lot of people are.

and yeah...I think that makes sense, you won't be the only parents you hang out with...nice one.

Sarah said...

It does sound like you're solidly both, and I guess knowing where each one fits in and how to balance them both is the most healthy way to be. I think it's good you're not trying to label yourself one or the other, but giving yourself the freedom to be complicated. I like that.

Jen said...

You are Mag and that says it all. I have never met anyone like you and hope it stays that way. You are one of a kind.
Personally I would love for you to have kids.

meg said...

Ah, Jen I haven't heard from you in a while in the blog world. Your comment hit me in a moment when I think I need to hear it, you're so sweet. Thank you. I'll add you to the yes on kids column. :)