Thursday, November 13, 2008

It can make the heart grow


Last time I was here, it was with Andy. We celebrated his birthday, with a Radiohead concert and our anniversary, with a couple of nights in a beautiful hotel downtown, dinner down on the pier and time together.

This time I'm alone. Not alone, alone. But without him.

There's a king size bed in the room. I put big pillows next to me at night, otherwise it felt huge and like I was sleeping in an endless black hole. There's a fireplace in the room and two comfy chairs in front of it. I piled my clothes on one so it didn't feel like someone else was supposed to sit there.

But it's not that this place is super romantic or anything. My view is of the street afterall.

It's just that he's not here to share in the experience. I know sometimes that's a good thing. It means when we talk or when we're back in the same state we'll have things to talk about, to share with one another. And that's good.

But strangely, in this very same town, two of our friends are having the exact opposite experience. Jayson's here for the shoot, and Nata lives here, going to school. They're able to be together just the short amount of time he's here and she's not in class.

I bring this up because it reminds me to forgo the regret and stick with the happy. Use the distance to let the heart grow fonder and be alright with not sharing ever experience with the one you love.

I was reminded of the time Andy 'n I spent apart for 8 months when I was overseas. I won't get into specifics now, but all I really wanted to mention was that along with the tough of being apart, there should not be regret. I think relationships will flourish if our attitudes are right and we're committed to one another.

I miss him. He's an amazing man and I truly love him.

I miss you Bo, I'll see you soon.

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