The opposite of hard times

We just started our tenth year of marriage. So we haven't been married ten years, we've been married nine and the tenth has just begun. I'm not stating that for your purpose, I'm stating it for mine, to make sure I've got it right, and to help the feeling settle in. By this time next year we'll have been married ten years. I'll have known Andy more than half my life.

We've done a lot together.

grown up
experienced loss
broken up
got married
moved out of state
lived next to our best friends for over 5 years
watched our best friends get divorced
traveled to California every way possible, besides covered wagon
bought a house

So you get it. The list goes on and on. One major thing we haven't done together is raise a child. I don't know if it will happen. I don't know what God has in store for our future. I feel like I've finally become at peace with either/or. I used to almost dread the thought of being pregnant, I didn't think we were ready, I knew I wasn't ready. Then for a season I wanted it more than anything, but the time wasn't right. Then when I thought the time was right, it didn't happen for months and months and I was upset, frustrated, worried.

But I think it's better this way. I'm not afraid, I'm not worried, I'm not obsessed with the idea, or consumed with the thoughts. I'm good. I'm good with us, with where are life is and who we are as a couple. If we become parents I'll be happy, if we don't I'll be happy. I think it's a good place to be. Just be.


On our way to the TV on the Radio show
Honeymoon weekend 2009

It can make the heart grow

Seattle.

Last time I was here, it was with Andy. We celebrated his birthday, with a Radiohead concert and our anniversary, with a couple of nights in a beautiful hotel downtown, dinner down on the pier and time together.

This time I'm alone. Not alone, alone. But without him.

There's a king size bed in the room. I put big pillows next to me at night, otherwise it felt huge and like I was sleeping in an endless black hole. There's a fireplace in the room and two comfy chairs in front of it. I piled my clothes on one so it didn't feel like someone else was supposed to sit there.



But it's not that this place is super romantic or anything. My view is of the street afterall.




It's just that he's not here to share in the experience. I know sometimes that's a good thing. It means when we talk or when we're back in the same state we'll have things to talk about, to share with one another. And that's good.

But strangely, in this very same town, two of our friends are having the exact opposite experience. Jayson's here for the shoot, and Nata lives here, going to school. They're able to be together just the short amount of time he's here and she's not in class.

I bring this up because it reminds me to forgo the regret and stick with the happy. Use the distance to let the heart grow fonder and be alright with not sharing ever experience with the one you love.

I was reminded of the time Andy 'n I spent apart for 8 months when I was overseas. I won't get into specifics now, but all I really wanted to mention was that along with the tough of being apart, there should not be regret. I think relationships will flourish if our attitudes are right and we're committed to one another.

I miss him. He's an amazing man and I truly love him.



I miss you Bo, I'll see you soon.
Loves.

the truth about my husband...

Last night, as we lay in bed, I told my man about the last post I wrote and asked him to read it, cause I think it's a bit of a love letter from me to him. He mentioned that he doesn't think I tell the truth about him in my blog. I was appalled. How dare he call me a liar. I explained to him that, yes, it is true that I don't share all of the not so great details about him with the blogworld, but that that's okay. I've mentioned that our marriage isn't perfect right? I just don't think it's alright to bash on the man you love.

But, to be clear, and at the beckoning of my adorable husband, I'm going to share some things - that by the way I still think make him awesome - but that he thinks provide a clearer picture of who he is. So, as he is in the kitchen doing the dishes (geez he's such a jerk!) and I am sitting in the living room, warm cup of tea at my side (he made the tea, and put it in a small thermos so it wouldn't get cold, man he's so selfish!) I am going to get down and dirty and share his not so perfect qualities.



Last thing before I get started...now when he does something - you'll see what I mean in a minute - less than "perfect" he now says, "put that in your blog!"

1. Last night he farted in the bed, and then he lifted the blankets and let it out into the room - the conversation went like this.
"did you fart?"
"Ya" - he then lifts the blanket
"AHH, it's gross." - I bury my face in my pillow
"Ahh, man that is gross"
"Is it gone? Eww, it got in my mouth!" - bury face in pillow, again
"Ha, put that in your blog!"
- uncontrollable laughter from me, mixed with gagging, tears running down my cheeks, and more laughter.
*I read this to him...we laughed and laughed about it all over again. he's my best friend.

2. as i mentioned in the last post, he still makes up cute names for me. earlier in the day, he was getting ready to take me to work and he said, "_______, you ready to go?" The blank space is for the new nickname he made up, just then on the spot. And, for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. I mentioned it to him last night and he couldn't remember either, it was one of those, In the Moment, kind of things.

Instead of leaving it at that, all sweet and endearing, he spent the rest of the night trying to remember the cute name. Here were some of his suggestions: stinky, and stinky butt, icky, funny face, booger, lamp,


3. he doesn't want to have kids, he likes us like this.
(he says he doesn't like kids and isn't that bad, but he does like kids and he'd be a great dad. we've just decided it's not right for us right now and so, again, this, in my eyes, isn't a bad quality in him.)

4. he plays video games in the bed at night when I'm going to sleep.
i have trouble falling asleep at night and i like the sound of something going on to distract me and so, he plays video games upstairs in the bedroom. He thinks this is a bad thing, i guess cause other girls would hate it. But I like it. It's like a movie playing, but one that I don't care about the characters or what happens next so it's easy for me to fall asleep.

Wait, this is supposed to be a list of bad things right? See how it just ends up working out the other way?


this is what he's doing right now.
409, paper towels and a chair.

I take the photo and he says, "you're not posting that are you? See this is what I mean, it's not like I do this all the time, or everyday. This is my point, this is why I don't think you're honest about me."

And, this is my point...he doesn't have to do it everyday. I've never said he does "this thing" or "that thing" everyday. The fact that he's doing it at all is more than a lot of women get. And yes, he doesn't do this everyday, but he does things like this for me everyday. You would get bored if I started that list. Cause it's not funny, it's just sweet, and loving, and probably boring, cause it's things like running slow so he stays next to me on a run, telling me to sit down and, "take it easy" for a little bit after I get home from work, folding the blanket I used last night on the couch and putting it away, or checking the tires on my bike before we go for a ride to make sure they're full.

But what was I thinking?!? He's a jerk. Selfish and all that. If this is him at his worst, then that's alright with me.
This was kindda fun. Maybe I'll start posting more things he does that make him not perfect. Cause they make me laugh and I like to laugh.

it's another post about...

a book and adultery.

Please don't think I'm obsessed with these two things. It just so happens that I had no idea what this was about when, as I mentioned in a previous post that Jen loaned it to me. I didn't even crack it open. She gave it to me, oh geez, a month and a half ago. And I opened the front cover and read it. On Saturday.


Here's what I started writing about it 4 days ago...
Say When by Elizabeth Berg contains a subject matter that we've all discussed here and there a while back...marriage and adultery. I didn't know it when I picked it up. The cover and title, as my husband pointed out, seem to suggest another sort of relationship activity. But come Saturday afternoon and 256 pages later I knew the story is, at it's core, about adultery in a marriage.

Of course, it got me thinking about previous posts/blog discussions, friends dealing with this subject in their marriage right now, and my own opinions on the matter in reference to my marriage. But that's not what I want to talk about. We've done that. And frankly, I don't want to do it again right now, because although I know my opinions may change in the future, they haven't changed a bit since the last blog-scussion so, for now, we'll leave that be.

Instead, what I thought about - and what was briefly mentioned in the book - was why I got married and why I married who I did in the first place ... seven and a half years ago. I realize that I was young, we were both young. We were both world travelers, we had a history together - heck, we'd known each other for over five years. But we had no idea what marriage was all about. Of course we would never have admitted it back then. We wouldn't even have known we should admit it! We were in love and that's why people get married. Right?

the first moment he saw me after I'd
been out of the country for six months
photo by Cameron Ingalls

We've talked about how naive we both were about marriage, what it meant and how it worked. But what we both still agree on is that we were right to get married and we were right to get married when we did.

If you know us, in the real world, you know our marriage has not been all flowers and rainbows. Without going into detail, I'll just say that in our first 2 years of marriage we experienced 5 out of the 7 things they say will kill a marriage. So, we pretty much figure if we, and our marriage, could survive those early years, then we can survive the rest of life.

There is an argument for waiting to get married until you know who you are, until you're an adult and you've come into yourself, found who you are. I'll discuss that. But I'm going to be bias on the subject. What? I just am.

I want to leave the post with this... I like that we've learned what marriage and a true life-long relationship is all about together, as a couple. I like that we've known each other as teenagers, and that we've shared that angst. I like that together, we've grown up, figured out who we are, and learned what being an adult really means. I like that we're young and yet we've already known each other for over twelve years. I like that we've had tragedy and survived through it together. I like that there's been time to see our relationship evolve.



I like that he surprises me
with little chocolate vegan delights right when it's that time of the month





I like that we're best friends. I like that he makes up new names for me still, like he did when we first fell in love. I like that we can support each other in our dreams. I like that he loves me and I can tell. I like that I love him. I like that I still feel like this is a new love, no, not everyday. Not every minute. But, I still get butterflies, and my heart still skips a beat, and I wouldn't change a thing about my life.

gross.

So, friday i went to work with andy. we went out to lunch, at the place voted "the best chinese food in Salem."



It ssoooo, was not the best chinese food... perhaps it was "in Salem" but man, that's sad for Salem cause this was baaad. Rull, baaad.

You know when you order "Sweet and Sour Tofu" and it comes fried with mostly batter and not a lot of tofu? Ya, well that's what I got.

And then, you know when it comes with a side of Vegetable Chow Mien, except the chow mien is "crunchy noodles" and the vegetables are water chestnuts and a couple of broccoli spears but it's smothered in some type of creamy sauce? Ya, that's also what I got.

And then, you know when the other thing it comes with is fried rice and you say to yourself, "Self, that's okay - since there are no substitutions on the lunch special - I don't need to eat rice anyways, fried or not." Ya, well obviously it came with fried rice, so ...

I ended up removing the batter off the fried tofu, eating the broccoli and water chestnuts - minus the crunchy noodles and see through creamy sauce - and the rice. I figured "semi"-fried is better than dipped in batter and then deep fried.

What really makes me sad about the whole thing is the egg flour soup and the tea you get before all that arrives was amazingly, super wonderful and I couldn't wait for a plate of steamed tofu and veggies with noodles ... Well. That sorta made the main course that much worse when all that was set before me was gross. Noodles? Nope. Veggies? Nope, well not to the standard that I'd hoped. Fried? yes. sad. Goopy? yes. sad. Gross? yes. sad.



At least Andy 'n me had a great time hanging out and having an "experience" together though. And that's really what matters in life. Plus, I think I'm getting addicted to drinking hot tea again cause that shit was gooood.

till death do us part

I read a tribute one blogger wrote for her husband and I read the post in context of the discussion we've been having regarding adultery and divorce. In that moment I was pondering what I plan to be my final post on the subject of adultery.

As I read her post, I thought of the poetry behind her thought that "he is my history", thinking about my husband and the history we have. And it really got me thinking. I can't judge anyone else's relationship. Bella is right, we've all been affected in some way by cheating, affairs, and/or divorce. We can't seem to get away from it. We're all going to react differently if it happens to us, a close friend, a family member or if we're the one who committed the sin.

This is in no way became more real to me than in Stephanie's two comments posted as "Ryan" here and here.
I want to thank you Stephanie for your courage and for speaking so openly and honestly about your past mistakes. It has been so helpful for me while pondering these subjects.

In one of her comments, Stephanie mentions that, what I'm going to refer to as the foundation, the foundation of the affair started months prior to her ex coming back into her life. The foundation started when, "I got in the habit of discontent, anger, and choosing my needs over my husbands and choosing not to address and work out issues we had." I've mentioned selfishness before and this is why I believe so strongly in that very thing. An affair can begin before we even know it has...I still won't call it a lapse in judgement...Sorry. This to me is a choice in selfishness, something that when we're married, we have to be aware of every day.

She then states, "All of that laid the groundwork for me to more readily ignore healthy conviction when the conversations and flirtations did begin, so that I could easily justify them, thinking I had mastery over what was going on. By the time the affair started, I was already well down the path, much deeper entrenched then I was even aware."

I've learned from the opinion "a lapse in judgement can lead to an affair", that the importance in this debate is not what to do if it ever happens. It is not to wonder where the - line-you-can-not-cross - is. It is not if a lapse can lead to an affair. The importance is, knowing we have to fight for it now, not later when it may be even more difficult, or worse too late to salvage.
We both have to know the importance of fighting for our marriage.

Fighting for your marriage needs to happen the moment you say, "I do." It's harder and potentially dangerous if you start fighting too late. Marriage is an active pursuit, something we have to engage in. I have to trust my husband that he's fighting and I have to strive daily to fight because I want the reason we part to be nothing other than death.

in a perfect world, we wouldn't have to think about it... another post on an unpleasant subject

We were away for the weekend hanging out with family and I've been pondering this topic on and off the entire time. I'll post a bunch of photos of all our adventures, but first I have to jot down a few things on the topic of adultery and divorce. So I've been thinking...

After I hit the PUBLISH POST button on liar, liar pants on fire, a blog regarding some feelings I had about cheating, A 'n me talked about it...and I heard a whole other side to the story. The side of the affair with extenuating circumstances.

In the ongoing dialogue between M and people posting blog comments on the blog that started it all, my first blog response, and my blog about divorce in regards to adultery ,and blog hopping dialog on divorce, plus the conversation with my husband, A, I now have a broader opinion on the topic.

If you're just joining in on the conversation, please take a minute to click on the bold highlighted words in the previous sentence to be re-directed back to the beginning.

Firstly, I'd like to respond to M's assessment of my opinion on adultery and divorce. I am in no way saying that if my husband cheated I would leave period. I most likely wouldn't, it would suck, for a long time, but I don't think I could leave. But, I have left a relationship before with an "it's over, period" mentality, and the story goes like this...

I was 17, going on 18. In college, dating an older guy. I straight up would not have sex with him...not even a little bit. He met a girl. He started having sex with the girl. He started bringing her around OUR friends. My good friend, J, called me and said, "hold on" then she handed him her phone and demanded that he, "tell her you're cheating on her."

Basically, it went like this...

Hi
Hey, what's going on, where'd J go?
Um, I guess I need to tell you something.
Oh kay...what?
I'm really in to you and I still want to be with you.
What's going on?
It's just sex. Listen if you'd have sex with me there wouldn't be an issue, but you won't. So...I'm having sex with her. But I still want to be with you.
Um...no. Not gunna work for me. And, that's gross. And also, don't ever call me again.
Click.


Okay, so that's not totally, exactly how it went, but notice I'm not quoting anyone. Forgive me, it was a lifetime ago and seriously, that's the jist of it. He still wanted to be with me, he just couldn't not have sex and so he wanted the best of both worlds. I did not find this to be the best of both worlds. To me the best of both worlds was: commitment regardless of carnal needs, wants or even desires...but, I was 17, unmarried, and our two worlds didn't fit nicely together. I felt betrayed and a bit worthless. I hated feeling that. I left and didn't see any other option.

If this happened to me now, with my husband, I couldn't just - hang up and leave it all behind. And this brings me to the rest of M's post and a similar point that A brought up and I do agree, somewhat. I do agree, there can be extenuating circumstances that lead someone to an affair, emotional/spiritual or sexual. And I also agree that this does not give you an "out" if you do have an affair. I also believe an emotional affair can even be more devastating than a sexual affair.

M brought up the point that her husband may not have their vows in mind, make a rash decision, have an emotional reaction, that effects the family and that this is similar to how an affair may happen. I believe that this "momentary lapse in judgement" thing is somewhat, in a way, possible, but only in regards to a decision that's not having an adulterous affair.

Perhaps I just don't like this term. Because, to me, it has a sort of pre-amnesia, I'm-not-responsible, it-just-"happened", out-of-my-control sort of connotation. And, I think that's bee-shit. I get irritated with the excuse. We're all adults here. Let's own up to our sin. I'm not saying it's worse than any other sin. I'm not saying it's unforgivable, I'm just saying it's something that needs forgiveness. It didn't "just happen." You made a choice, a decision and it's wrong, period. I don't like the "option" of the excuse.

So in conclusion. I guess what I've learned is, affairs are stupid...but, just because someone has an affair it doesn't necessarily mean that they're an all-around bastard (as I implied in my previous post). I've known a few of these types personally that have really f***ed up the people around them and ruined families. And I apologize for lumping everyone into that catagory.

I've also learned that life is tough and shit goes down. And everyday, I need to thank God for giving me an amazing husband that had a lot of reasons other people have used to have an affair and instead of making that choice, he stepped up, took unbelievable care of me and became an insanely dedicated husband.


This is an amazing conversation. Please keep it going. I love it. I'm learning, changing my opinion and becoming more thankful for my husband and the husbands and wives around me that continue to walk the hard road and stay married no matter what.

In response....

Comment Response to Liar, liar pants on fire:

summer - thanks, I'm glad we're talking about it too. I also witnessed it up close and it's hard no matter what the outcome, but there are numerous outcomes and i need to be fair to them all. I do believe marriage can survive an affair and your sister-in-law and brother are a brave example of this.

M - as always, I won't "comment" I'll post another blog.

Flop - lame. comment on mine next time. geez.

Beth - I'd love to hear your perspective on the topic. My parents are divorced also and there's no way I'd agree with the "divorce is not an option" thing. When are you coming back to us?!?!

BellaGirl - no need to ask for forgiveness, rambling is what blogging is all about!

Forgiveness is such a big part of the bigger topic, no doubt. Every marriage is unique, as is every sin. There fore, I do believe that this can not be cut a dry, and that is why we discuss, we dialogue. And, God forbid, any one of us ever found themselves in this situation, we'd know there were friends out there that would stand by our side, share thoughts and prayers and know that what we're going through is rough.

Anonymous - I'm not assuming an affair is just sex. I just think that's the most devastating and the hardest to talk about, because as Bella said, we've probably all been affected by one kind or another.

I would still love my husband if he told me he'd had an affair, but for me, staying in the marriage would depend on the details of the story. (Elixer says it well in her next post.)

I can tell you that just having a child would not make me stay in a marriage hands down. Kids know when their parents hate each other. Personally, I was never in a happier home than after my parent's divorce.

The for real response post is coming up next.

liar, liar pants on fire

cheater....
affair...
infidelity...
adultery...

In response to a friend's email regarding it's a dirty word but somebody had to say it, I'm writing about cheaters, extra-marital affairs, infidelity, adultery whatever you want to label it, that's what I'm talking about.

Here's what she said,
"Very well put...But I am curious as to your thoughts on infidelity. I ask, because after 40 plus years and numerous escapades my (insert any four letter word here) father has filed for a divorce. My mom is very hurt even though they have been separated for a long time. I think she always felt the same way as you. So for me I am just trying to have other words to say to her.
Something to think about huh? Not a very fun subject although not discussed nearly enough in our society."

I firmly believe that cheating is a form of abuse. See this post to read my opinion regarding abusive relationships.

It isn't a moment of weakness. It isn't a lapse in judgement. It isn't a once only kind of thing. Cheating is a choice. It's a decision and sometimes I think it's a way one person in a relationship says, "I'm over it...But, I don't want to be the one to do the leaving, that would look bad on my resume'. So...she/he's a nice looking distraction."


I've thought about what I would do if my husband cheated on me. I thought of it mostly after a close friend went through a divorce after her husband cheated on her. At first, I thought, well, the christian church in america says adultery is the only reason you can ever get divorced and the bible says to stone an adulterer, that's worse than divorce - at least for the one getting stoned - so yeah, I would totally divorce a cheating husband.

My friend, we'll call her Ms., did not have a husband in the same sense as I do. He wasn't around all time, he supported their family, financially and spiritually, on a very irregular basis. Ms. raised their children, payed their bills and had to ask for help from friends and family so often that it was "taking a village" to raise their children. Cause let's face it, as much as I admire and respect Ms. and as amazing of a job she's doing raising her children, she couldn't do everything on her own and no one blamed her for it. Personally, I blame him.


If my husband treated me (and if we had children, them too) the way Ms.' husband treated her and their children, I don't know if I would have lasted till he had an affair. Frankly, in my opinion, he had been cheating on her and the family way before he hooked up with another woman. He had been cheating on them with himself, for ten years.

Marriage is about being unselfish, I've said it before, and he remains one of the most selfish people I've known. The fact that he took it one step further and fathered another woman's child, for me makes it just that much worse.

That's one thing I think about cheaters. I just wish, if one person in a marriage didn't care to strive to be unselfish, they wouldn't take the easy way out a claim a lapse in judgment, a moment of weakness or whatever. I just wish they would file for divorce. Be a man dammit, be a woman dammit, don't take the easy way out and cheat. Admit that you're selfish and you don't want to change. Leave your spouse and children out of it and admit your faults.


If the man I'm married to cheated on me, I don't think I could leave him. First of all, the man I'm married to sounds nothing like the cheaters I've described. If he did cheat on me, he would've become another person and in that case, I believe, cheating wouldn't be the only problem. But if he came home to me tomorrow and admitted to having an affair, I don't think there would be anything in me that would want to leave him. I would be angry, hurt, shocked and I'd want answers. But if he was truly sorry and didn't want to leave me, I don't think I could leave him.

Which takes me around the circle again. Because, honestly, if he admitted to having an affair, I'd totally divorce him because in my mind he just wouldn't be the man I'm married to. He'd be someone I never knew and I wouldn't want to be with anyone other than the man I'm married to.

it's a dirty word, but somebody had to say it

Inspired by recent events, my man and I, and my dear friend Jessa have been talking about marriage and the word-never-to-be-said-in-the-midst-of-an-argument- divorce.

I'd like to begin with a statement. I believe there are exceptions to the comments I am going to make about divorce.
If you are in an abusive relationship, of any kind, physical or emotional please seek help and get away from your abuser, what ever it takes. I am excluding these marriages from what I am going to be sharing about...but all the rest of you, beware!

Marriage is not easy. Even without children, marriage is not easy. Two people living together is not easy. One man and one woman as roommates is not easy. Marriage is a way for God to shape me...daily.


We talked about marriage and thought about the reason's why people settle on divorce as the answer. A long time ago, I settled on the fact that selfishness is the root to divorce. In a nutshell I still think this is true.

But, I've learned that even more-so, people just don't care. See, love has nothing to do with feelings. Love has to do with not feeling. By this I mean, when you don't feel IT, that's when you really love someone.

IT can be so many things:

lust......patience
sensuality......attraction
desire.....security
trust.....appreciated
admiration...or admired
safety.....comfort
encouragement.....
....and on and on and on...

I've also discovered that there can be so much less of a reason for divorce. Here are a few we thought of:

I don't like you anymore
I've fallen out of love with you
We don't have anything in common anymore
We're just roommates, existing in the same space
You're a slob
You're a nag
You don't look like you did when I married you
.........................................................................................

and these are just a few we thought of about people without children, the list grows increasingly long when you add children to the mix.

Here's the thing...we all think and feel these things, or variations of them, at one point or another in our relationship. And this, this is when marriage becomes real. This is marriage.

Marriage, the commitment we make to another person is real when it's tested, strained, and it remains. It's not about feeling good all the time. It's not about perfection.



It's about my man bringing me my coffee after an argument...he's added coffee cubes cause it was luke warm and it's better cold. It's about being unselfish.

*End Note: For another woman's opinion check out this blog. I didn't mention a few thoughts I had in this blog because she said it and she said it so well...

more on this as thoughts come, I heartily request your comments and insights

two shall be one

*warning, in honor of a Johnston family wedding, the F word will be used liberally and without apology in the following post*

On Friday the 13th Erik and Sara stared superstition in the eye and said, Fuck You, we're getting married.

Sara is a statuesque beauty. She has poise and grace and throughout all the professional model photographs I have seen of her, she never looked as amazing as she did on her wedding day. Fucking gorgeous, the pictures do not do her justice.

The following are a few of the moments I caught when I remembered that I had a camera in my hands. This was such an amazing day and we were so honored to be included in all of the Johnston family photos. Fuck ya, we love our family.

Here's a little story all about their day...

the guests have arrived and the candles are lit

a boy saw a girl
and then she saw him

he took her by the hand

they vowed life to one another

and became man and wife

We all made our way to the reception and we
had a few moments of Johnston family fun...











Stay tuned for a post linking to the professional photos from the day...

soon to be Mr and Mrs Johnston

a couple's shower worth mentioning.

Jessica planned and executed the best couple's shower ever. Everything was gorgeous, delicious and tons of fun. Don't you wish you were there?

ladies know how to throw a party
beautiful and delicious.




Mrs...to be


Congratulations Sara & Erik, I can't wait.
This is going to be the best Friday the 13th ever...

i do.

Last weekend I had the honor of helping my dear friend make her wedding day grand. Here's a little photo journey of her big day.


I couldn't sleep the night before, I just wanted to be sure I didn't forget anything on the list. I had quite a few jobs for the day, hair and make-up for the bride, coordinating the reception, making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be and on and on and...














...hair-did? check.







The bride and her bridesmaids





her something old


She's ready.



The first look.
they choose to take all their pictures before the wedding, there were only a few of us that witnessed this moment.




the adorable flower girl


ring bearers keepin busy










happy & in love.





not even the rain could stop the love.




Mr. and Mrs. Parrish
June 9th, 2007